Reconciling these two facts is difficult for many parents, who are unsure whether their sons’ fun play at home is in any way related to the fear they feel for their safety when their sons leave the home.īefore last month’s school shooting in Parkland, Florida, and the upswell of gun control activism that followed, concerns about the potential link between toy gun play and gun violence were much easier to set aside. Also, gun violence is nearly exclusively a male problem. Anyone breaking the rules has their water pistol taken away immediately.The vast majority of boys who play with toy guns will never go on to use real ones to harm someone. Lueking recommends setting clear rules for play with water pistols, such as not squirting anyone in the eye and not shooting at anyone who's not a participant in the water fight. To temporarily upset the family's normal power structure, she says everyone could be given a water pistol for a water fight. "For children to develop a capacity for empathy, you could argue it's important that they also act out power imbalances while playing – and assume all possible roles," remarks Roetters. Meisel's tip for parents who aren't enamored of their child's pretend gunplay: Tell the child, for example, "If you shoot me I'll be dead and can't make your supper." "The attraction of frowned-upon toys fades only when the little ones are allowed to try them out." "The best thing that mothers and fathers can do is to give them their head and trust them," says Luecking, though this doesn't mean they should accept everything. This means listening to children, taking them seriously and hearing them out. "I always say that talking about it helps." "I've learned it never makes sense to forbid children from doing something simply because it's not considered good form and fits a certain cliche," says Luecking. A family rule could be that the living room is off-limits to water pistols, for instance. Roetters suggests limiting the amount of playtime, or places, for pretend-shooting games. Roetters takes a similar view: "So long as weapons are part of the real world and children are confronted with them in books, stories, radio dramas and movies, I don't think it's advisable to declare a blanket ban on gunplay."įorbidding children from handling real weapons is different, she adds. "Well," she replies, "kids usually look for a way out or an alternative when they're forbidden from doing something that's fun for them." Does that mean parents shouldn't forbid them?
Pictures of shotguns toy free#
"If the game isn't grim, emotions aren't harsh and everything's free and easy, then there's nothing fundamentally wrong with pretend-shooting games," Meisel says. The joyful aspect of play should be at the forefront. Parents should then prick up their ears and try to learn where the hatred comes from. There are some forms of pretending gunplay that may justifiably disturb parents though, "namely when the child exhibits hatred," Meisel says. Or they re-enact something from real life in order to assimilate it. When at play, children take on a role or ability that they don't have in real life. "Children's games often have a make-believe element," says Bettina Meisel, chairwoman of the Association of Analytical Child and Adolescent Psychotherapists in Germany (VAKJP). "Perhaps the child simply has an uncle who belongs to a gun club, or whose mother is a police officer," she points out.
In extreme cases, the child has had a traumatic experience and is processing it. Gun-related play can serve various purposes, according to Roetters. They don't, in actuality, want anyone to die, she says. But she notes: "Unlike adults, children aren't able to fully think through the consequences.
She knows from personal experience that at some point parents will see their child playing shoot-'em-up games.įamily psychologist Annika Roetters is quite familiar with adult disapproval of children's pretend-shooting games. "When children play, they process their experiences and what's occupying their mind," remarks Kerstin Lueking, a midwife and mother of seven. Some even forbid it whenever they can.Īnd yet child psychologists and child guidance counselors mostly dismiss such fears and say kids' gunplay isn't dangerous – so long as the guns aren't real, of course. Many adults take a dim view of pretend gunplay, though, worrying it could lead to real armed violence later. The game is great fun for young children, giving them a feeling of power. They pull the trigger on a toy gun, or even a stick they pretend is a gun, and shout "bang, bang!" Their playmate, and make-believe victim, is then supposed to fall down and play dead.
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